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Top 45 Zany Ways to Order a Pizza


1. If using a touch tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a credit card name. Ask if they accept that.

3. Order a Big Mac extra value meal.

4. Terminate the call with "Remember we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh just suprise me!" and hang up.

7. Answer their questions with questions.

8. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

9. Stutter on the letter P.

10. Say hello, act stunned for 5 seconds, then behave as if they called you. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

11. Tell the order taker you are depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

12. Change your accent every 3 seconds.

13. Rent a pizza.

14. Have your pizza shaken not stirred.

15. Say "Are you sure this is Pizza Hut Delivery?" When they say yes, say "Well so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, Pizza Hut Delivery, start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to!"

16. Move the mouth piece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

17. Tell them to double check that your pizza is, in fact, dead.

18. Amuse the order taker with little known facts about the mating rituals of Aardvarks.

19. Ask what toppings go best with some "Falfa beans and a nice Chianti."

20. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? and who are you?"

21. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

22. Order two toppings then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

23. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

24. Use expletives like "Great Caesers ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel town".

25. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

26. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words".

27. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

28. Try to talk while drinking something.

29. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

30. When they repeat the order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

31. Start the conversation by reciting today’s date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

32. Ask If they are familiar with the term "spanking the Pizza. " Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

33. Say "Ksssssssssssssssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

34. Put them on hold.

35. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

36. Mumble "There’s a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say, "I said sauce smothered with meat."

37. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

38. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don’t get it do you."

39. Haggle.

40. When they say, "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

41. While on the phone, fake entering puberty, Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

42. Dance all round the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don’t mention that word."

43. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

44. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

45. If any if the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."


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