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TOP 20 THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR


1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

9. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, motion sickness!"

10. Meow occasionally.

11. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

12. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

13. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

14. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

15. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

19. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

20. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.


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